['Just 'cause it got a ball it don't make it a sport.']
Soccer is a satanic game according to this dude. I'm especially enjoying the part where he breaks down all the different 'types' of Mexicans who play soccer. It's obvious that he's still butt-hurt about not making the team in middle school.
['HOWW? HOWWWW?' Oh, weren't we all wondering the same thing?]
We're simply not talking about France. No, seriously. We're not. At least not for a little while. Thuram coming out and suggesting that Evra be banned from playing for France ever again (get real, Tutu) was just about the last straw. However, what we can do is share a little giggle over Marcel Desailly's -- he of Ghanaian origin -- reaction to The Penalty Kick That Didn't Go In and Will Now Live Forever in the History of African Football (yes, that's its official name).
[Just some casual and lazy sexism to round out your day.]
So, I guess that they couldn't find a single female who watched the Yanks do their thing in S.A. and, you know, appreciated it. Or maybe the problem was that they couldn't find a woman who watched soccer in America at all? Christ, is the situation that dire amongst the soccerballing masses? For reals, Nike?
TIET TMI du Jour: Also, at your next available moment, Nike -- you know, in between producing these sh*t ads -- please review tape from Ghana/USA where you'll find Jozy Altidore engaging in some desperate A+ flailing dive-age in the dying moments of the match. And the whole 'playing like an American' thing ain't cute either. Raging national-identity/deluson driven soccer ads are what drove England down the wretched path that they're on -- take a tip and don't make US soccer suffer the same fate.
Diving header. Meh. Why is it that people are always running to credit John Terry with all sorts of things? Passion, drive, and the ominous 'world class'? (I've heard that last one so much that I'm not sure what exactly it's supposed to mean. You play for Chelsea. Be world class. All the time. Simple as.)
"The Chelsea defender said he was “born to lead”. And do you know what? He was spot on. Terry played this game like his life depended on it. He was everything his manager needed him to be – fearless, inspirational, simply brilliant."
The worst are those suggesting he be reinstated as captain. He was stripped of the captaincy, people. STRIPPED. And not even for being a crap defender or moronically speaking out against the manager at a time when the team needed unity more than anything else, like he conveniently did last week. No, Terry was dismissed for generally being a dirty scoundrel and a sh*t friend which has to say more about his character than any of the stereotypical english-hardman tripe the press are now selling.
How we're supposed to feel about John Terry is confusing. He's like that friend or acquaintance we've all got who's constantly making catty comments about your clothes or hair and then apologizes 'if your feelings were hurt'. She gives the most complete bail-out apologies that only leave you feeling unqualified in your anger. I get to be annoyed by you, damn it. Let me have that, at least. JT's got a knack for acting like a complete gentlemen, making the blinding off the line clearance (flashback to Trinidad and Tobago at the '06 World Cup) that sticks in your head for ages until, of course, he spits in someone's face during a Champions League final and hounds and screams at referees on the pitch. The moment you start liking him he does or says something so pompous and prick-like that you've got no choice but to go back to hating him again.
Admit it, for a moment you totally thought that this video was awesome. But I can't be only one that thinks that this is taking the whole writing the future thing too far. And yet, even while while thinking that, I still can't get over the rather romantic thought of a footballer like Drogba ending AIDS in Africa.
Lesson learned: In regards to France, never ever delude yourself into thinking that it can't get any worse. It can. They're boycotting practices (they refused to train on Sunday, but have now resumed today apparently), Evra missed a press conference today and sponsors don't even what their logos on France's training kit anymore. There's actually talk that the captaincy might have been yanked from Patrice Evra. All that's missing from this teen soap opera is Chuck Bass. I'm half-expecting him to make an appearance at this point: scotch in one hand, neck scarf at the ready.
A zoo somewhere in middle America has come up with this in anticipation of the the Game of the Century!1!!: USA vs. England, scientifically confirming that a meerkat would have indeed been a better call-up than Heskey. Scientifically as in... well, at least these meerkats are cute and fluffy, okay? What's Heskey got these days? Missed shots and a black patch on his record for ruining Rio's World Cup.
TIET TMI du Jour: Meerkat Manor = only the most fantastical show featuring meerkats in existence. Or, er, the only one.
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